Chapter 12 - Ashley and Alex

The first day of class was complete. Logan was the first back to his dorm. Pulling out his book, he got started on his homework.
“Ima gonna get every question right cuz im a nerd!” Logan said.
The hallway outside started to rumble.
Logan looked up from his book, curious and frightened.
The door smashed open, splinters flying everywhere. Ashley entered, carrying an entire herd of piglets.
“hay,” she said.
She poked a wide hole in the wall with her pinky and stored her backpack inside.
“in case you haven’t noticed,” she began, “I have a herd of pigs with me. They come from my old farmland. They follow me here. Must have wiffed my scent and followed. It is rather pungent, really. I knew them since I was a little piglet.”
“oh,” logan said. “you must be… really close!”
“actually. Yes. We are. They are my best friends,” Ashley replied. “now I’m going to go cook them for dinner. All except… berna.”
She held up the smallest, most helpless pig Logan had ever seen.
“why is it as big as a… quarter?” LOgan asked.
“I’m going to keep her. Forever! She’ll be dorming with us, in your bed.”
“ooh…,” Logan sighed.
Alex entered the room.
Ashley explained the pigs.
“so tonight, we have bacon and pork!” Ashley exclaimed. “pork my middle name. you shall do dishes.”
Upon mention of the word ‘bacon’, Alex jumped back, screaming. He tumbled back into the hall. The door slammed shut. Ashley stopped talking.
“I wonder - “ Logan began.
The door opened.
Alex stepped in.
“you will NOT,” Alex said, gathering the pigs,” make bacon.”
“Qua you say??” Ashley cried.
Alex sighed, and put the pigs on the floor.
“What I am about to tell you may come as a surprise. It must NEVER be repeated outside of this room. Boqay?” Alex asked.
Ashley nodded.
Logan made a confused indiscernible sound.
“I,” Alex said, “am a scarecrow made out of bacon.”
Silence.
“Boqay. Ima go start dinner,” Ashley said, gathering the pigs and leaving the room.
Logan turned to Alex.
“do you mean it?” he asked. “you mean when you have Supul, right?”
Alex nodded.
“Boqay. Just making sure,” LOgan replied nervously.
Alex nodded.
Ashley returned into the room with all 15 pigs.
“I decided to let you guys have some bacon. Pick your pigs!” Ashley cried.
Logan and Alex looked at each other, claimed all 15 of the pigs, and hurled them down the air vents.
“RUN FREE! GO!” LOgan screamed, peering down the air vents just in time to see a pig butt hurrying away.
Logan and Alex rushed to the window. Outside, pigs burst free from the school, and ran back to the farms.
They turned to face Ashley.
“… And that’s what we WOULD do if we loved pigs, which we don’t!” Logan cried.
“Did you like our show??” Alex pleaded, more than questioned.
Ashley shrugged and left.